Friday, September 25, 2009

70 days.

Or more accurately, tonight is 70 nights.

I miss him.

I've had a 2 hour conversation with Alpha Bravo tonight, as he was driving up to see his daughter, and just pottering about whilst I did that, and it was nice just to be chatting to someone who was listening whilst I pottered about. It was just... nice. really.

I've heard no more from the She-Ex after telling her that I couldn't supply what she wanted because it didn't exist yet! I think she much have understood finally. We can but hope.

I'm just old tonight. Old, and tired, and facing a life on my own. Most of the time, that's ok. Tonight it is a long and lonely road.

And you and I and the rest of the world know that I'll only be on my own as long as I want to be, and then there will be someone. At the right time, which isn't yet, there will be the right person, supplied by God, approved by Rich, and willing to fill the biggest boots there ever could be.

I saw him dead, you know. I saw him twice. I want to write about it, but I can't find the words yet. I will. And soon. I can feel it coming soon.

But now I'll go to bed. I'm so very, very tired. And yet I won't sleep. But if I phone someone, it won't make sense anyway!