Thursday, March 3, 2011

Day 24. A picture of something you wish you could change.

There is no obvious answer to this one.

I can't change how dead Rich is.

I can't change the fact that the She-ex wouldn't let BG attend her own fathers Celebrations.

I can't change the fact that his brother lied to me and took his ashes and I don't know where he is properly.

I can change how I feel about all of that. I can love what we had, not mourn for what should have been. I have it on good authority that he is fine and is happy I am moving on. I'm not sure where I am on that, to be honest.

I can and did, write it all up for the BG, continue to be open and honest on here, maintain a level of openess to communication with her, and pray and love her. I sent her pictures, and I would have loved to have spoken to her after the Celebrations, but I wasn't allowed. We "are nothing to her" now, according to her mother. Well, the she ex and the BG are the ones that miss out with that attitude, but I can work on being forgiving of it. As for his brother, we have Thetford, we have articles here, we have the love and the memories. What he has, I don't know. I'd be there if he'd let me, but he wants nothing to do with us either, won't answer emails, won't answer FB messages, and so again, he is the one missing out right now. He chose not to come to Thetford, his loss.