Monday, May 23, 2011

Distraction and splitting time.

I am distracted this week.  I am.  And I've worked out that to spend time on the other blog, for BG, I have to cut down a bit on the time I spend reading or writing other blogs.  So what I have done is to start to have the blogs I *want* to read emailed to my yahoo account, because I can read that at lunchtimes or on buses or whatever, and then the ones I am not desperate to read but I enjoy, I will just catch up on when I can.  I'm going to schedule a post for the next weekend that we are away on the blogs I have emailed to me, with links and everything (ha! I hope!) and that way you can see these fabulous blogs as well!

And yes.

Writing about blogs is a distraction technique for not writing about the weekend.  It was fabulous in lots of ways.  J and I are fabulous, AC and I are fabulous, J and T-Boy are fabulous, T-Boy and AC were fabulous.  The mathematically minded amongst you will see who wasn't fabulous if you work out all the permutations.  Yep.  Go on.  You can do it.

T-Boy and I were not fabulous.

I backed off this weekend.  I didn't make a fuss about anything he wanted to eat or not eat.  As a result he was let to eat what he liked.  As a result, all of the work we had done over the last weekend was undone.  Again he showed himself up in front of the others with his attitude towards me though, and I let it go.

I understand everyone else's point of view.  Really I do.  If I only saw the child of my heart once every 2 weeks for a weekend, I would probably indulge him as well, and avoid arguments and so on.  I know it's easier for me because whilst I love him, it is not in the same way I love the AC - I didn't birth T-Boy, or raise him, or sit up in the dark nights or sing in the sunshine or whatever, so it can't be the same.  I am not his mother.  I do love him though, and I want the best for him, and if that means short term pain for long term gain I can live with that.  I've lived with it all my life, I can do it for him.  I honestly believe that the others want the best for him as well, but they want it now, not in the future, and the best for them for now is a happy T-Boy, not a healthy one later on.  I understand, I do, and so that's why I backed off. I want J to enjoy his time with T-Boy, time Rich never got with BG, because even though both mothers were so self-centred at the time as to move the children without consideration, at least T-Boy is still in the country.

I just..... oh I don't know.  I suppose I want a miracle, and it's not going to happen this weekend.

Maybe when he comes for the half term, or in the summer if he doesn't come for half term.  If he doesn't come, then I'm getting a skip and emptying the top of the house.  Oh yeah!  Anything of the She-Ex's can go - she took all she needed she said.  It will be hard because a lot of the things that Rich kept will go as well - like back copies of MachineMart and that kind of thing.  They are no use to anyone, not the kind of thing that BG will want, and so they can go.  Yes they can.  Yes they can.  Yes they can.  Yeah, it's like that......

And school for a whole week, then holidays for a whole week, then school for a whole 6 weeks, then holidays for a whole 6 weeks.  If you look at it like that, it could be worse.  Except I really like this bunch of kids.  But I said that last year, and the year before, and the year before, and and and and!

Laters peoples!