This week I have prayerful Wednesday Words, (although rather late to the party because I've only just realised it's Wednesday - last day of term should be a Friday, surely lol!)
This is the prayer that was read at Rich's Celebrations. It is the Prayer of St Barbara, the patron saint of armourers, military engineers, gunsmiths, and those who work with cannon and explosives.
Prayer of him who suffers
Saint Barbara, many people around me lie. Teach me to resemble you by hating falsehood and treachery, and preferring everything to them – even social failure, even humiliation, even poverty,.
Saint Barbara, many people around me hate. Teach me to be like you by returning good for evil and by praying for those who hate me, remembering that Christ said: “If you do not forgive, you will not be forgiven”, and “The measure you use will be the measure used for you”.
Saint Barbara, I am crushed with suffering, and cannot bear any more. Teach me that suffering offered with love is alms, and that it can save a soul. Christ offered me such alms on the cross, and you imitated him in the torture chamber. This is how he saved the world, and how you converted your country.
Help me to remember under what conditions you lived: It will give me courage. Then I will see that I too, can achieve great things with that I have, and that if I do not like what is happening. I can change it by my hidden acts – even though I am small, even though I am alone.
Why this today?
Why not. It's been a hard couple of weeks for reasons that I cannot fathom. I've been mysteriously ill at the start of this week. I was overtaken by tears again yesterday, when I was home all day, technically off sick, and I was looking out of the window in the AC's room, and was just blown out of the water by the sight of our Very Untended Garden which used to be so lovely, because Rich and AC and I used to spend a lot of time out there. I can't bear it now.
I will have to bear it.
I have to man up, and change the world by my hidden acts, even though I feel so very small, and sometimes, so very alone in this grief, which is suddenly rearing it's head after so very long. Or not long enough.
Don't forget to do the linky thing with Crazywithtwins who has many lovely poems and words on her blog, and who has succeeded in making me cry tonight with her beautiful Wednesday Words.