I remember your first cry, first meal, first sleep.
I remember your first steps, first word, first 'love oo'
I close my eyes and you are small,
Reaching to me,
Holding my hand
I open my eyes and you are ten,
Wheeling your bike out of the door
Knocking for your mates for the first time
A cheeky grin and a 'love you'
And you are off.
It's a world I don't know,
A world of bikes, and in jokes, and stupid games,
And I have to trust you.
I have to trust my parenting.
But I'll always be here...
Just in case....
As you can probably tell, I wrote that. And I wrote it because the Adorable Child has just biked up to his mates for the first time to knock for them to see who's about. He's ten. I've encouraged him. It was an idea he wanted to suggest but he didn't want me to say no, so I read the entreaty in his eyes and I suggested it. He's ten. I got a "Yeah, could do." but the speed with which he flew out of the door belied his reticence.
My baby is all grown up.
Whilst I know that this is all good, and as it should be, and he's going to high school in September and will be walking on his own and all that jazz, we spend every day together. We are at the same school. We walk there and back together. We need to do this, for both our sakes, because we have become far too dependent on each other, for very reasonable and logical reasons, but we both cannot allow it to continue to this level.
I don't want him afraid to leave home at 33. I don't want to be washing his undies at 33!
But I will always be here, just in case.